you said i could have anything i wanted

My women's studies professor and I just spent ten minutes discussing BtVS and AtS as feminist texts. he asked if i saw ats as a feminist text.

And I was basically like ATS IS TOTALLY FEMINIST UNTIL IT ABANDONS IT AND IN ABANDONING IT IT LOSES ITS NARRATIVE SO BASICALLY IT'S KARMA ALSO CORDELIA AND LILAH ARE THE BEST AND BTVS IS ALSO SUPER PROBLEMATIC NO ONE UNDERSTAAAAAAANDS BUT CORDY AND LILAH ARE PERFECT DID I MENTION CORDY AND LILAH?

i could spend my entire life talking about this show. things we know. but clearly i had to share this information. it started off with a discussion of batlestar galactica. it was perfect. i love women's studies. he was like "angel is so boring on btvs" and i was like "BUT ON ANGEL HE'S MY FAVORITE" because duh.

i have to drop my senior thesis because we have to use primary sources and i cannot find primary sources for this shit so nope. dropping that. might write a paper on the buffyverse and sexual violence instead.

DO THIS.


ALSO WHERE THE FUCK IS LAW AND ORDER UK? I HAVE AN OTP THAT IS LONG-MISSED I MUST FANGIRL OVER.

MY ROOMMATE SHIPS MATT/ALESHA. I LOVE HER SO MUCH RN.



MATTHEW AND ALESHA THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Title: I Can Play Games 'Cause I Know All the Masks
Ships (Fandom): Wesley/Lilah (Angel)
Timeline/spoilers: "Habeas Corpses" and "Calvary"
A/N: for mini_miss's prompt "turned your back and you just walked away" at the small fandom and rare pairings ficathon. Title from Ida Maria's Keep Me Warm
Summary: She doesn’t know which of these wounds burns brighter, or even when one ends and the other begins.

( i can play games 'cause i know all the masks )

this is so very late.



Thirty Days of Angel: Day 20 - Favorite Wesley Moment Episode - “Salvage” (3x13)

Okay, so on some level I suppose this isn’t a Wesley episode the way Guise Will be Guise is a Wesley episode, except it is a Wesley episode. His narrative shapes it. Lilah’s death keeps him in that basement for a very long time, at which point we all get confirmation of the fact that he loved her but didn’t say it because he thought she couldn’t love him, and when he emerges from that basement he has switched from where he was in “Calvary,” wanting to kill Angelus on sight, to wanting to find Faith to make sure Angel can be saved. I want to know why. Someone more entrenched in Wesley probably could tell me. I’m a Lilah Morgan girl. What I do know is that woman’s death changes his mind entirely and shapes the narrative arc of both AtS and BtVS as well when Faith goes to Sunnydale. In that moment, something changed. And the sheer tragedy in him throughout the rest of the season is harrowing. From my recollection, his burgeoning reunion with Fred stops short almost entirely, and the grief itself is so palpable, especially in “Inside Out” and “Home.” But that’s a different narrative.

But even beyond OTP time, this episode is so good for looking at Wesley as a character, both in terms of the above perspective shift and because he understands that to save Angel they need Faith, and so he helps her break out of jail and insists she will be beneficial. In addition, in one of my particularly favorite scenes, he directs a slew of vampires in Faith’s direction in order to test her - showing quite clearly the steps this man will take for the mission, the hardness in him, the sense of purpose despite potential costs. It’s one of the moments I understand Wesley, and that the darkness in him, that sense of purpose that so defines him, has finally reached a point of clarity. It is no longer a darkness that flounders around unable to pick a direction. He uses it for the mission. He channels himself. He finds his grounding, and he keeps that grounding. And that’s why this is my favorite Wesley episode.

Posted on tumblr here.



other things of a mostly fandomy nature:

1. ava_leigh_fitz suggests i hold a doomed ship comment-a-thon. i vaguely like this notion very much. i would preferrrrr an ats ficathon of any variety, but i know how this fandom rolls in its lack of fic and smallness. i don't know how we'll define doomed, but i just want people writing me ats fic for ships i like. for i am a selfish cupcake.

2. my het_reccers stuff is due very soon, so you should all write wes/lilah fic right now so i can rec it. i'll wait. as i re-write half of this essay.

3. not related to fandom: i'm moving back to school on saturday. thank god. i was getting homesick.

4. eleusis_walks has suggested we have a day of fic dwelling this weekend. which will pretty much mean incessant emails back and forth about this 20 facts fic (which i am, i swear, still two facts away from finishing because i keep adding and removing and changing numbers and combining shit and yeah) and hopefully starting one of the many five things fics i have in my head for cordy/angel. one of which is very short and sadddd and one of which is VERY long and happy!

5. noblealice has betad the first chapter of my ridiculously huge sarah connor chronicles fic. i think i'll be posting that tomorrow or friday or as soon as i come up with a fucking title. fffuuu.

6. i'm still deliberating on what to do for my favorite gunn and fred moments. slash episodes. i like episode spams because they're longer and because then i don't have to be decisive, but idk. feelings.

responses to the five things in my otp personal canon from yesterday. i'm also going to post my responses to ladyfest later. sup. also, re-watching angel s1? much more painful when you ship angel/cordelia. my heart hurts all the time.

also yes i recognize that jack/kate and angel/cordelia end with the same line. DON'T CARE, OTP, SHAKING AND CRYING. and the a/c one is kind of a mess because this ship makes me a mess and I'm trying to do way too much here, but here it is.



( Kara/Lee )

( Jack/Kate )

( Angel/Cordelia )

Before we begin, this has full-series spoilers for the following: Alias, Battlestar Galactica and Angel. Every other fandom you should be safe. This is for picspammy's Challenge 14: End of the Decade

( Warning: Image Heavy )