(Why am I even trying humour when it's beyond me D:)


“You know I like you, James.”

It was one thing getting drunk with Sirius, and another being sober with him. So long as they were on equal footing, things were brilliant.

“I really do.”

But when there were on opposite sides of that spectrum… it was the least James could do not to hex his best friend to the opposite side of the country.

“If you liked me, you wouldn’t have drunk the whole bottle by yourself, you prat,” James muttered.

Sirius was too focused on what he was trying to say to pay much attention to James’ growing irritation. He scooted closer, bleary determination in his eyes. “I really, really like you.”

James sighed. When he and Sirius drank, it was usually with Remus – who then bore the brunt of Sirius’ pawing – but sometimes, it was just the two of them. Sirius never tried anything on him while they were both drunk. No, it was only while James was stone-cold sober… this was never happening again. Once was more than enough.

Lips brushed his neck. Stubble tickled. Clumsy fingers tugged at his shirt, not even stopping when James caught his wrist.

“Please, James, I want – so bad – jus’ once!”

“Give over, Sirius.”

Whiskey-fumed breath spilled against his cheek as Sirius pressed all the closer. “I coul’ make you feel so good, make you come like you wouldn’ b’lieve. Gimme a chance.”

Teeth clamped down on his earlobe, a little too sharply to be teasing. James hissed and jammed his elbow into his best friend’s gut. With a particularly canine yelp, Sirius jerked back, but didn’t retreat fully to his side of the couch. “I said ‘no’ and I mean it!”

“You… I thought, always thought… you don’ like me, James?” He looked so hurt and confused, like a dog beaten without reason.

James pushed both hands through his hair and shut his eyes. “’Course I like you, moron. We’ve been mates for seven years.”

“So, what’s a little fuckin’ b’tween friends? They’ve been doing it in Sly’rin since Malfoy got sorted…”

“Reg told you that, I’m guessing?” He got a grunt in reply. Of course he’d heard it from his little brother. Whether it was true or not had probably never crossed Sirius’ mind. “What’s good for a Slytherin is poison for a Gryfindor.”

“But. But. I really want to. You’re… I can’t look at you and not want you. You’re so fucking perfect.”

The confession was slurred but sounded alarmingly heartfelt. It completely wrong footed him. He had thought Sirius just admired him, as a friend and as competition, but never once had he thought there was anything sexual attached. He didn’t know where to start putting it right. “Sirius…”

“Once couldn’ hurt, James. Jus’ lemme show you. Ask Moony, he knows how good it –”

“I don’t want to know what you and Moony get up to!” Sirius had edged closer to him again, his body heat seeming to come off him in waves. James started to get up, but in that instant Sirius lunged. James gave an undignified squawk as he was unbalanced and forced to the floor, Sirius on top.

“You’ll like it, I swear!”

“Merlin’s balls, get off me!”

“Shhhh, shhhh, jus’ shut up –”
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October 2020

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